Balance
by merdarkandtwisty
Summary: Aaron Hotchner never thought he'd need Spencer Reid to keep him balanced Part two of the Alphabet series. Preslash. episode 05x10


I don't own Criminal Minds

Alphabet Series

B is for Balance

Aaron Hotchner never thought he'd need Spencer Reid to keep him balanced no Aaron was always the strong one. The one who everyone leaned on in times of distress. Leaning on anyone else, being supported and held up by someone else that was unheard of in Aaron Hotchner's world Yet here he stood at his ex-wives grave holding his son and allowing someone else to hold him up to keep him balanced. To take away his pain and keep him from falling to the ground figuratively and literally.

It had been a week since Haley's death. A week of funeral planning and trying to explain to Jack that mommy wasn't coming home. A week of sad looks and what can we do's. Hotch just wanted it to be over. He felt Spencer's presence beside him and he sagged a little into the other man. Not caring at that moment who saw. His eulogy was done. He'd made it through and later he'd have to put on his face for the rest of the world and accept their condolences right now though he could take the relief and strength he was getting from the younger man.

"It's okay Aaron." Words whispered closely as he watched one person after another walk up to the casket and place a white Rose on Haley's casket. He felt a nudge to his side. As he saw everyone walking away. Everyone but Spencer.

People were giving them odd looks he could see it. He didn't care though. Let them think what they wanted. Right he needed Spencer. He didn't know why or how it had all came to be but he knew that in the last week he'd came to depend on the younger man more then he'd ever thought possible. Everyone was gone from the graveside Spencer leaned closer and looked down at Jack. "I'll leave you two to say goodbye."

Aaron gave a stiff nod looking down at his son, his motherless little boy. He crotched down and picked him up. Spencer walked a little bit away and watched the son and father. A picture of sadness as the little boy leaned down and placed a single white rose on his mother's coffin and blew a kiss into the wind.

Spencer turned feeling bad for prying into that private moment. Slowly leaning on his cane he made his way to the rest of the mourners. He sat down at a table filled with the rest of the BAU team all eyes seemed to be trained on him. He didn't say anything. He wasn't sure what they wanted him to say. What could he say. Hotch had lost Haley.

"Thanks." Spencer turned to see that Dave was talking to him. he didn't ask he didn't need to he just nodded and watched as Rossi stood up. Spencer's eyes tracked to where Dave was going and saw Aaron standing with Jessica accepting people's condolences and he tried not to flinch and he went to stand up to go to him, JJ's hand on his arm stopped him though.

"Spencer Rest you've done so much. Dave has him now he'll be okay." She whispered into the stilled heavy air. Spencer just sat down heavily in the chair. He twirled his drink that someone at some time had placed in front of him and tried his hardest to not let others see him so closely watching his boss.

Hotch stood frozen as he thanked one more person from coming. The stinging in his eyes getting worse. He looked up as Rossi came towards him. "Hey lets get some air. He looked down at Jack.

"Jack will be fine." Dave assured him.

"oh..okay." he turned to Jessica. "Jess can you make sure he gets some food.

"Yes of course." Jess squeezed his arm. His eyes involuntarily went to Reid who was looking at him as he followed Dave out to the patio.

"I can go and get him if you want." Dave said.

"No, no that's okay I just." Aaron felt like he was crumbling in on himself. Dave was there Dave should be able to hold him up to balance him but he couldn't. "I promised Haley. I promised her I'd make this up to her and now she's dead."

"You still can Aaron you saved Jack." Rossi said watching his old friend. He smiled sadly. He didn't understand it. He couldn't he'd never lost someone like this. He saw Aaron's eyes flicker between Jack and Spencer. Somewhere in the last week Spencer Reid had became Aaron's rock. It was odd it was out of place yet somehow it seemed to fit. "I'll go get him." Dave put his hand on Aaron's arm but he didn't even have to start towards Spencer before the younger man was coming towards them. something was off. He could tell.

"I'm sorry." Spencer whispered coming up to Aaron.

"What?"

"JJ just got a call. We have to go to Tennessee I'm sorry Aaron if we could stay we would but there is no one else.

"That's crap." Dave muttered and Spencer just gave him a look.

Aaron felt in balance and out all in one moment. Spencer stood by him yet he was leaving again. would he make it would he crumble? "I would stay if I could. I'm just a phone call away." He put his hand on Aaron's shoulder and made the older man look at him. "Just a phone call away." He whispered again.

Aaron watched him walk away. Feeling off balance feeling weak. He saw everyone looking at him and he put his stoic mask back on he'd make it. He'd find balance in himself and he reminded himself that even if Spencer wasn't there at the moment he was only a phone call away. He had friends he had family and it hurt but he'd survive he had to for Jack, for himself for his team.

A/N So what did you think? Next up C for Call or Careful or maybe both I'm not sure.


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